


Breaking Through

by insightful_username



Series: Living Life [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Just realized I didn't mention everyone in exo, M/M, and probably no sehun or xiumin either, anxiety (sorta), didnt mention D.O., like kris and tao, only mentions some of the members, or chen, some swears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 07:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10635222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insightful_username/pseuds/insightful_username
Summary: With a heavy heart, Yixing went through his life alone, not wanting to be a burden on anyone, so he, himself carries that burden with him through his life. The familiar feeling of drowning, only saved by a few seconds of salvation, was stopped when he met Joonmyeon, he helped Yixing break through the surface of the water he had been drowning in.





	

Yixing slams his door, too tired to talk to Joonmyeon about anything without pouring half his water content out while spilling also his pent up feelings to the poor man

“Yixing… what's wrong?” Joonmyeon’s soft and smooth voice rings out as he softly raps on the door with his knuckle. A pattern Yixing is surprisingly fond of, a three-fourth meter, making the first beat of each supposed measure slightly more accented than the rest. The pattern, which seems almost too stable continues, as if pleading for Yixing to respond.

“I'm sorry.” He mutters out softly, unsure if Joonmyeon had heard it or not.

The soft rapping of the door stopped. The door moved slightly, a sound of fabric running down the smooth yet hard surface was heard, implying to Yixing that the slightly older had sat down in front of his door, leaning slightly on the hard wood material.

“Yixing.” The older said, drawing the vowels out in the way Yixing always liked to hear from his friend. “I know something's wrong. I'm really worried.”

Pity. It felt disgusting, sending slight chills down his back.

He fell, not physically or mentally, figuratively, that is. A wave crashed on top of him, forcing him to sink down.

Tears ran down his face, realizing his homesickness wasn't going away, even after all these years.. Even as he visited his home country every so often, it didn't feel as good as it did before he was famous and recognized, when he was allowed to do anything he wanted to without any backlash.

“I miss them…” Yixing says while sobbing.

“Who? Them…?” Silence hung between the two. “Your parents, or… or Kris, Luhan and Zitao?” Joonmyeon’s voice was barely over a whisper as he said the names of those who'd left the group.

“Yes them. I don't care if they ‘betrayed’ us or not, I miss them.” Yixing said, his voice raising. “The coldness on my skin every time I see how well they're doing without us. How we seemed to be holding them back.”

The familiar silence hung again, save from the uneven breathing from the both of them.

“You aren't going to follow, are you?” Joonmyeon said so softly with such little confidence, Yixing could barely believe that this person was the same person who’d made all these speeches as leader of their group.

“No… I'm not like that. I don't care how much more money I could make or how successful I'll be. No matter what, I'd be so alone without you guys’ support. I'll miss you guys too much.”

The door shifted again with the same ruffling sound of fabric, signaling that Joonmyeon had stood up. The door shook after a few sudden impacts on the door indicated that he was rubbing his eyes, wiping away any tears that had fallen from his usually bright eyes. They both stayed silent, only a few sniffles eliciting from the both of them, ever so slightly.

“We are one, after all.” Yixing could hear the sadness lacing the other’s smooth voice. His voice sadly cryptic.

~~

 _Tick tick tick._ The metronome clicked to a soft beat as Yixing placed his head down on the table in front of him, ignoring any equipment he might've hit as his head went down.

A soft knock at a similar beat to the metronome rang out throughout the mostly silent room.

“Yixing. We have to go to practice.” The leader’s soft voice spoke again, this time following the sound of a door being opened and closed. His footsteps were light, gentle, almost as if he'd shake the ground if he stepped too hard.

The metronome stopped, a silence filling the air. Yixing, who had long fallen asleep without realizing, didn't sense Joonmyeon approach him. The older took a glimpse at the Chinese and sighed before taking his phone out.

_Hey, Lay’s sick and can't make it to practice so I'll see you guys later._

Joonmyeon texted his manager, using the younger’s stage name. Not even a minute after, his text buzzed in his hand.

_Do you want me to drop by with something so you can go to practice?_

The leader of the group sighed, lying to his manager for his friend’s sake.

_No, I can stay._

He typed simply, shutting his phone off.

He looked over at the sleeping male, sighing once more. He placed a blanket over his group mate’s sleeping figure and left the room as quietly as possible.

Joonmyeon looked in the kitchen, attempting to make something for him and his younger group mate.

Not even a minute into his cooking, a distinct scent of smoke spread through the air, eventually wafting into Yixing’s room. With a hacking cough, Yixing woke up, fanning the air around him.

Coughing, he walked out into the kitchen. “Joonmyeon?”

Said male looked up, smiling awkwardly. “Sorry.”

  
_Luhan tried expanding his limits by attempting to reach out of his ramen and egg meals. He cracked an egg onto a pan, watching it simmer over the fire. When he saw it begin to form clumps, he attempted to slip a spatula under the egg which proved to be useless as he had forgotten to add oil to the pan prior to his plight._

_Cursing under his breath, Luhan moved to the meats, adding oil to the pan this time. He pressed his face to the counter, watching as the fat on the meat sizzled along with the oil already in the pan._

_Realizing his error, he attempted to remove a bit of the oil from the pan, hoping it wasn't too much of a fail on his part. What resulted was a sizzling mess, sending bubbles of burning oil at his face. He dropped the pan, panicking slightly._

_“Luhan?” A tired voice asked as they approached the kitchen._

_Luhan panicked again, grabbing the pan onto the floor, placing it back onto the counter, the still burning hot pot accidentally touching a roll of paper towels._

_“Oh my gosh! Is that a fire!?” The calm voice had almost immediately turned to one of panic and worry as he laid his eyes on the scene in front of him._

_“Shit.” Luhan cursed, trying to fan at the fire in attempt to subdue the burning flame._

  
“Don't fan at the fire!” Yixing said when he sprung back to the present day. The Chinese male ran to grab their dorm’s fire extinguisher, spraying at the ever-so present fire. He sighed, looking over at the panicked older.

“Sorry… I wanted to cook for you, but look where it ended up.” The older said, removing the apron from around his waist, throwing it onto the ground in defeat.

Yixing coughed, still feeling the burning feeling of smoke filling his lungs. He sat down at their dorm’s dining table, feeling slightly lightheaded as the sudden rush of adrenaline slowed.

“It's fine, I'll make something for you after a quick nap… get some rest too.” The Chinese male said tiredly.

“You okay?” Joonmyeon asked his friend. Joonmyeon had noticed his friend constantly overworking himself, even to the point where he'd sleep through parts of the day in attempt to make up for lost sleep, but this time, it seemed that Yixing was even more tired than usual, the deep eye bags making his already tired eyes seem more so.

“M’fine. I'll see you later, I guess.” Yixing mumbled.

Just as Joonmyeon was about to respond to his friend, venting out his concern, the younger had already left. Joonmyeon sighed again, pinching at the bridge of his nose.

Despite having known him for the past several years, almost ten years, in fact, but of course was nearer to the eight nine-ish year range. Yet, the younger was still shrouded in mystery. Although Joonmyeon still knew his Chinese friend was a very emotional person with a seemingly outgoing personality, he never knew how to react to when his friend peeled the façade off to reveal the actually intensely cryptic personality he'd always had.

  
He swam in his thoughts, attempting to stay up without falling back under, yet no matter what, he continued getting deeper and deeper with no avail whatsoever. The dark sea attempted to smother Yixing back down, guiding him nowhere.

The mask he always wears was becoming old, cracks forming as he continued to force a smile on his face everyday. In front of his members and even his parents when he finally gets the chance to see them.

He apologizes, not to himself or anyone in particular.

He apologizes, his words sounding more like pleas than simple statements.

He apologizes, as if those were going to be his last words.

“Yixing…” His group member’s soft voice echoed down the hall, sending chills down his back. Even when he didn't respond, Joonmyeon continued speaking. “I'm sorry if I did anything to hurt you, but I wonder is what you show me is actually the real you.”

The familiar sound of ruffling fabric and the slight shaking of the door reverberates through the quiet dorm.

Yixing looks at himself in his mirror, his hollowed out cheeks and his deep eyebags show just how pitifully miserable he is.

He feels painfully useless. A figurative and almost literal devil was standing over him, watching his every move until something he does wrong could have horrifying repercussions.

The waves crashed again.

“I'm really sorry, but please.” Joonmyeon choked up, as if he were crying. Then, he laughed. “This feels like such an overreaction for this situation, but I wanted to ask if you'd like to go out? Gosh,” a soft chuckle filled the air once more. “I feel so stupid right now, but I really like you…”

Yixing felt his heartbeat speed up and his stomach fill with a sense of unfamiliar and overwhelming happiness. A hand extended to him from up above, seeming like an angel in his undesirable situation.

A sigh broke Yixing out from his surprise. “But if you really don't like me back, please don't think of me differently, as hard as that can be.”

Once more, Joonmyeon had stood up, not waiting for Yixing to respond.

“Wait.” Yixing croaks out in desperation. “I like you too.” His voice a nearly silent whisper. The Chinese male awaits a response, but never gets one.

Joonmyeon smiles when he hears his friend accept his love confession, but continues to walk away.

~~

“Yixing, the members are coming back. I told them you were sick, so can you please play along with my act real quickly.” Joonmyeon said upon knocking on the door, having entered the room prior to his question.

The brunette had little to do to act like he was literally ill; he was already exhausted both mentally and physically and his entire body had begun feeling fuzzy hours prior. Yixing nods his head affirmative with little to say in return.

Joonmyeon frowns, a slight crease forming on his forehead. Despite the fact that the Chinese male was the closest to him in the group, he sometimes forgot how realistic Yixing’s façade could actually be.

“Why the hell does it smell of smoke in here?” Baekhyun asks oddly critically, disturbing the silence in the dorm.

With a look that meant he was pleading for Yixing to play along, Joonmyeon took off to meet his members as they filed into the living room one-by-one.

“Fuck, did you try cooking again?” Jongin asked in the same tone the 92-liner had spoken in.

“I know I'm bad at cooking, okay. I already know that,” Joonmyeon said jokingly.

“Shit man, my bad.” Jongin replied.

“Do you not have a P.G. mode?” Chanyeol said as his long legs carried him into the dorm, hitting the second youngest in the head.

“Did you… feed Yixing your food?” Jongin said to Joonmyeon, ignoring Chanyeol’s slap.

“No… well, I tried.” Joonmyeon said sheepishly.

“No wonder he’s sick.” Jongin muttered under his breath.

“I'm not deaf!” Joonmyeon sighed.

  
Yixing couldn't help but to smother a laugh when he heard his friend’s ridiculous conversations. Then, his laughs faded into nothingness when he felt that ever-looming sense of loneliness reappear in the pit of his stomach. It made him feel sick just thinking about it.

Yixing coughed, still feeling the smoke from deep within his chest. Yixing wonders if Joonmyeon had the same problem considering he’s close to the smoke, much closer than Yixing had been.

~~

Yixing hurriedly put a turtleneck over his head, the woven fleece uncomfortable on his slightly heated skin. He left his hair down and wore black slacks, opting to go for a more formal look.

“You ready?” Joonmyeon asked his new boyfriend as they began exiting the dorm. “Don't forget your hat.”

They exit their dorm, going out to somewhere simple to have their first official date. Of course, it couldn't be very extravagant or as showy as any ideal date would go, but they believed it'd be fine.

Cautiously, Yixing felt his way to Joonmyeon’s hand, intertwining their fingers. With his other hand, he pulled his hood further over his head.

“Lets just drop by a small corner store and get home quickly. Our fans can't know we’re doing this.” Yixing said just as cautiously as his movements.

“I know, but I'm still giddy about something for some reason.” Joonmyeon smiled from under his baseball cap. “Would you like to give me something?”

Yixing looked around for a second before returning his attention to Joonmyeon, placing his lips against his significant other’s soft ones. With a great urge to continue and even deepen the kiss, Yixing pulled away from Joonmyeon.

“Let's go.” The Chinese idol said nearly silently.

They'd gotten settled in a nearly empty coffee shop, getting two cups of coffee. Yixing's phone rung out, disturbing the near silence of the peaceful silence.

Yixing, can we meet?

A text popped up from a name he never wanted to see again. Luhan. Although he admitted he'd missed the former members of the group, the solace of trying to forget was shattered quickly.

“Who was it?” Yixing looked up at Joonmyeon when he spoke up. Yixing’s eyes were still dull and tired per usual, but they had been glazed over. “Yixing, tell me.”

Joonmyeon was once again worried about him, even though he wanted to say it didn't matter.

“Luhan.” Yixing said after a few moments of silence.

“Did… did he contact you?” Joonmyeon asked cautiously to which Yixing could do nothing but to nod in reply. The Korean male couldn't think of a way to respond.

“I'm sorry, I know we were sorta dating at one point, but I… I guess I just wanted to find a way to forget.” Yixing said softly.

“Please, just let me be selfish this once.” Joonmyeon said shortly. “And let me help you forget instead.”

“Every time I look at you, you start resembling them more and more to the point where I can't forget even if I try.” Yixing snapped, still staying as quiet as possible.

“Excuse me?” Joonmyeon asked, genuinely confused. “Is that why you wanted to date me in the first place? Because I'm just like him and them combined?”

“That's not what I meant… you know that, right?” Yixing said softly.

Joonmyeon placed his hands over his face, looking up while sighing.

“Joonmyeon…” Yixing said, attempting to reach out to his friend in attempt to make up for what he'd done wrong, but he felt a wave of nausea settle at the pit of his stomach, a darkness consuming him.

The wave had dragged him deeper, just as he was getting out of the ocean of his own self pity and his negative emotions. The lump forming in his throat caused him to choke on his own words. The overwhelming presence of voices telling him of how he'd fucked up wasn't helping either. Tears had already formed in his eyes as his body became fully submerged.

“I'm sorry, Yixing. I love you, but I can't stand to see you do this to yourself.” Joonmyeon sighed, looking to Yixing’s shaking frame.

The shorter male’s grip on Yixing’s hand began dragging him up, slowly allowing for Yixing to find salvation on the surface of the merciless sea. The room to which he was always outside of had a door, which had begun opening to invite him into the solace.

Then, everything fell. The imaginary darkness created from his mind hadn't completely faded away, but began to clear. The door which was opening, however snapped shut.

“Joonmyeon, please… I… I-I can't d-do this… on my o-own.” Yixing breathed in deeply, his breathing shuddering heavily. “I… I n-n-need you.”

The aforementioned male looked up at his friend's tear-filled eyes. He pulled Yixing into a hug, enjoying the touch of the Chinese male.

“I know, but what if I'm not here for you.” Joonmyeon muttered.

Heavy, uneven breathing answered him, but he didn't care.

~~

“Hey, are you really okay?” Joonmyeon asked as they began their ride back to their dorm.

“Yeah,” Yixing sighed out with his eyes closed. “If I meet him, can you come along with me?”

“You want to show off?” Joonmyeon asked in a teasing tone.

“Sure, flatter yourself if you must.” Yixing smiled.

“You say that, but I know you think otherwise.”

“So what if I did?”

The two laughed.

The waves began to cease, only slightly, though.

~~

He screwed up, he knew he would. Yixing, who had begun climbing back up to the surface, had fallen back under. The darkness becoming overwhelming.

With a heavy pain in his chest, he continued running, ignoring the manager as he ran into a separate dance studio.

“Lay. What are you doing here?” A chorus of feminine voices called out to their senior after he entered the room.

“It's… I'm… I-I…” Yixing stuttered out, a familiar weight settling itself onto his chest. He looked over at the camera filming the girls. “I'm s-sorry… did I m-mess up your recording?”

“It's fine, we were already messing up our choreography anyway.” The shortest of the five speaking up for the rest of them.

Yixing squeezed his eyes shut tightly. “I'm sorry… I-I should leave.”

“No, it's fine, but is there something wrong?” One of the blurry figures asked him.

“No— Yeah… I'm fine.” Yixing said, breathless. “I'm sorry.”

“Are you hurt? What's wrong?” Another one of them asked.

“No,” Yixing let out an airy laugh, temporarily regaining his breath, “If you're a fan of my group, I apologize if I'm not the one you wanted to see.”

“Sure, we love EXO just as much as any other person would, but it's not like we like you any less because of your nationality or your personal issues.” One of the girls chimed in.

“Shit…” Yixing muttered in his native language, his body falling deeper and deeper into the unforgiving void of the ocean. “I'm… I-I'm very s-s-sorry.”

“What happened? Should we call someone?” One of the shorter girls asked.

“No… I… I really n-need J-Joonmyeon… please…” Yixing stuttered out through labored breathing. The darkness swarming him became unbearable. He choked out an indecipherable noise, unable to control his breathing. He felt himself blush through the numbness spreading through his body. He was embarrassed to let these juniors see him in such an undesirable state.

The girls had left Lay’s side, whispering to themselves as they huddled into the corner of the dance studio, the nearly painful silence only broken by Yixing’s labored breathing and their near silent whispers.

With great difficulty, Yixing attempted to stand up, using the large mirror covering the wall to support himself. The girls had stopped speaking and not even a minute later, Joonmyeon tore through the door.

“Yixing?” His soft voice painfully loud through the silence of the room. His gaze drew to the weak, shaky figure of his group member. “I apologize if we delayed your already busy schedule, but we’ll leave now… after I calm him down.”

“What happened?” The youngest girl asked cautiously.

“I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't tell you.” Joonmyeon said nearly icily. He averted his attention back to his groupmate. “Yixing, breathe… I'm sorry I forced you, or at least urged you so hard to see him again… I knew you aren't ready yet, but I still forced you. I'm sorry.” Joonmyeon continued whispering apologies and sweet nothings to his group mate.

Exhausted, Yixing felt himself sinking. Not deeper into the water, but into a bed of solace.

“Well I guess we'll be off now.” Joonmyeon said, gesturing for Yixing to leave with him. The Chinese male bowed before leaving silently with Joonmyeon.

“I'm sorry.” Yixing said breathlessly.

“S’fine, let's just get back to practice.” Joonmyeon said semi-robotically.

“Please, I want to see him again… I think I'm ready now.” Yixing said, stopping dead in his tracks.

Joonmyeon stopped too, his frame sinking slightly. His shoulders lifted slightly as he took in a deep breath. “Then go,” he didn't turn around. “I'm not stopping you. I'm not controlling you.” His shoulders raised sharply before falling once more before he walked away.

Their usual practice went slowly, with a great sense of tension spreading throughout the room.

“I'm sorry…” Yixing whispered softly to their leader. “I didn't mean it like that… I didn't want to see you so desperate to help me through my issues.”

“It's not…” Joonmyeon sighed. “It's not about that… I want to know you… the real you, not this fake personality you put out in front of us, our fans, even your own family. Why won't you trust me!?”

The rooms fell silent as the other group members looked to the commotion Yixing and Joonmyeon had been creating.

“Put it down.” Yixing said sternly back.

“Put what down? We've known each other for the better part of seven years, at least. I've told you everything, to the point where you can see right through me, but what about you?”

“Put the goddamn topic down!” Yixing’s voice rose. “It's nothing.” He concluded calmly, forcing himself to stop.

Yixing got up clumsily, stumbling away.

“What the hell was that about?” Jongin asked.

Joonmyeon pressed his hands over his face, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand. “Yixing…”

  
“Luhan… can we meet?” Yixing asked in a slightly shaky voice.

“Now? I'd love to, but I have my own schedule and you're still in Korea.” Luhan said calmly.

“Wait… d-don't hang up yet.” Yixing stuttered through his closing throat.

“Listen to me, Yixing. First, calm yourself.” Luhan paused, seeming as though he was trying to listen to Yixing as his uneven breathing slowly steadied, “Now, when does your next schedule take place in China, or at least when is it clear?”

“I th-think it’s supposed to c-clear in… a-about a week?” Yixing asked breathlessly.

“Good, my schedule’s going to clear by then. And also, I love you, Yixing.” Luhan said with a smile, clear from the intonation in his voice. “You are my brother after all.”

“Thanks.” Yixing mumbled, floating safely on the surface of the figurative water before the line went dead.

~~

“You want to go to China!?” Their group’s manager asked.

“Yeah, our schedules are clear, so why not?” Yixing asked calmly, trying to hide the desperation in his voice.

“Do you have everything prepared?” His manager asked cautiously.

“Yes. I have the tickets booked and I already packed.”

“Fine.” The manager said reluctantly. “If you'd wanted to go so badly, I would suggest telling me not the day you are leaving.”

“I know, I know,” Yixing said, preventing more of his manager’s nagging voice from entering his ears.

Yixing returned to his room, taking his phone out, pressing a random name in his contacts.

“Yixing? What's up?” Luhan asked.

“Are you free within five hours of now?” Yixing asked with high hopes.

“It'd be two in the morning.” Luhan reasoned.

I know… I'm sorry.”

“No, don't be, but I'm not sure if I'll actually be free then.”

“It's fine, I wanted to call my parents anyway. I really missed them.” Yixing sighed at his failure to his his sudden homesickness.

“Why don't you just quit?” Luhan asked offhandedly.

“Why? I love all of the members, why would I want to betray them so suddenly?”

“Think about it… would you rather give your parents up or your members?” Luhan asked cryptically.

“Why would I have to choose between the two. I love them both, so why can't I think about myself and keep them both?”

“Then stop being so selfish.” Luhan suggested.

“Why must I be so apprehensive? You, Kris, and Zitao acted off of personal selfishness to leave the group. We, the Chinese idols in Korea, already have such a bad rep already, why make it worse? I mean, I, already being called two-faced because of you guys, and people are still calling me traitorous and tell me to go back to ‘where I come from’ because My so-called kind don't belong here.”

“Stop, okay? I don't fucking care, okay? Just turn your back on them. You'll feel so much bet—”

“I can't leave them! Just because you left doesn't mean I'll follow. So what if you guys all went on one path? I'll find my own and if I can't find one, I'll create one.” An almost apathetic thought created itself in his mind. The darkness reappeared, and this time, Yixing wasn't scared of it. It held onto him carefully, reassuring his tired frame. The ocean he had been swimming in became deeper and deeper until he sank to the bottom, his body feeling numb.

“Yixing?” Joonmyeon asked from the other side of the door, interrupting the Chinese’s call.

“Yes?”

“Come on, I'm ready, let's head to the airport. After all, it's better to be painfully early than late.” Joonmyeon said cheerfully, pretending he hadn't heard the intensity of Yixing’s emotions as the latter directed his loyalty to the group over phone.

Although it had only been a week, it seems that Joonmyeon and Luhan’s roles have switched because Luhan, who he'd thought was so comforting before, acted so discordant compared to how he had earlier while with Joonmyeon, it was vice versa. Although Yixing had been angered at EXO’s leader previously, he was happy when Joonmyeon agreed again.

Yixing grabbed his duffel bag, picking it up after zipping it up. He hung up on Luhan, placing a moreover fraudulent smile on his face before exiting his room to meet Joonmyeon.

“They're gonna love you so much more after all these years. I'm sure of it.” Yixing said joyfully.

“I hope they do because I ain't leaving your side until you or I die.” Joonmyeon joked. “Maybe I'll even die for you.”

“Honestly? You know what?” Yixing began.

“What?”

“I'm fully willing on giving my life up for someone, I don't really care if I die.” His voice suddenly serious.

“Why? Live selfishly. So what if people judge you for it? It's better than being a complete pushover.” While Joonmyeon said it's good to live with selfish desires, Luhan believed that such sin should not even be allowed to contact the face of the planet earth.

“I want to, but for now, I think I just need you by my side.” Yixing looked to Joonmyeon. “Because you're helping me find myself.”

“As in you didn't really know who or what you're meant to be in the first place?” Joonmyeon asked.

“Kind of. That wall obscuring who I really was to the public eye was slowly turning me into someone— something I wasn't. Someone I didn't want to only be.”

“Well I'm glad I can be of help to you.” They fell silent after that.

~~

“Um, hello. I am Kim Joonmyeon, or Suho.” The group leader began in Chinese, but when he got stuck, he gestured to his Chinese friend to help him.

“Mom, dad, I'm sure you already know Joonmyeon, so say hello.” Yixing said in Chinese. He then switched to Korean, whispering to his group mate. “If all else fails, just use English. Even though none of us are really good at it, it still works as a backup plan.”

“Does he… know?” Yixing’s father asked in reference to Yixing's constant emotional struggles.

“Yes. He’s seen me through it as well.” Yixing replied, embarrassed.

“He seems like a nice young man, I hope you two really get it on.” His mother concluded.

“Oh gosh, please, mother.” Yixing blushed a deep red.

“Yes, let's leave them alone for the time being, they must be tired. Yixing, take him to your room.” Yixing’s father saved him of any further embarrassment.

As they settled in for bed, Yixing spoke up. “I wanted to thank you… for being there for me, and now, I want to be open with you.”

“You don't need to thank me, I just want to be here for you when you don't have your parents with you.”

“No, I want to thank you for breaking the surface, for dragging me out from the ocean I was drowning in. For clearing up the fog.” Yixing admitted, using multiple analogies to prove his almost obscurely convoluted point. “Every day of my life since I was young, I felt like I was drowning. Every time I tried to swim back up, I felt myself being dragged right back down, to a point where I could barely feel, or move for that matter.”

The room fell silent, a faint sound of cicadas chirping in the distance mixed with the warm night they were sharing. A calming atmosphere enveloped the room with comfort and an almost homely vibe.

“When I met you, I felt more determined to reach the surface. I have, multiple times, but a wave kept pushing me back under. Now, with your support, your help, I can escape unscathed because of you.” Yixing blushed in the darkness, where only the faint moonlight reflecting off his face showed a slight hint of redness.

“I… I want to do more for you, I want to be here for you even when it doesn't work out.” Joonmyeon said with great determination.

“You already are,” Yixing said with a hushed tone. “I love you and I will never regret it. Even when you think you aren't helping me, just know that you are and I love it.”

“I love you too.” Joonmyeon said with a yawn. “It's getting late, we should go to bed.”

The noise of a bed creaking slightly rang through the silence of the room. It was clear that Yixing had gotten up, using light steps in attempts of preventing his parents from waking from their sleep after an eventful night. Joonmyeon felt his bed dip and creak from a newly added weight on the soft mattress.

Yixing huddled against his significant other, wrapping his hands around the older yet shorter male.

“I'll thank you once more for helping me break through.” Yixing said before drifting off to sleep.

 

**Author's Note:**

> as per usual, many of my already existing stories are also on aff (not all of them are posted here though because series are a bit difficult to put up here, especially if i've already begun posting it on said website prior to gaining this account. plus, I also manage to get my shit together and find the courage to read through my fanfiction, and edit anything i'm unhappy about (which is almost all of it anyway)) this being said, i'm literally shit at writing stories, so yeah. let me get my shit together and continue by saying that contact a suicide hotline or anyone who might be able to help if you're feeling suicidal; if you have any mental issues, i guess, than get help. this seems quite hypocritical of me considering i'm that kind of person to bear all the burdens on myself rather than ask for help, but yeah. i'm sorry and i'll see you next year.


End file.
